Foul Words A Plenty

Is it wrong that I laughed so hard I cried the other day upon hearing this:

Hallie: (approaching me while sobbing) Mom, Ilene says that when I grow up I'm going to.....I'm going to (more sobs).... I'm going to smoke. But I'm not Mom, I'm never going to smoke. But she keeps saying I WILL!!

Mom: (biting lip to prevent guffaws from escaping) Well, ignore Ilene. I know you won't smoke when you grow up.

Hallie: No mom, I'll never be a smoker.

Ilene: (sitting silently at the kitchen table, coloring, while shaking with pent up laughter and squinty eyes cast down)

An Epiphany on Homemaking

Once upon a time there was a gal named Cynthia who was a good homemaker. Yesterday she was a good girl and cleaned her kitchen/dining/family room, otherwise known as the great room. This happy little gal stood back, sighed with pleasure at the sight of a sparkly clean house, and then went to pick up the kids from school. Within 30 minutes the children pillaged and plundered the pantry, strewing the home with homework, crayons, pencil shavings, smashed bananas on the floor, backpacks strewn everywhere, Ritz cracker crumbs aplenty, etc. The happy homemaker was no longer happy.

When her husband came home that night she tried to explain it this way, "Imagine that you worked so hard on some financial statements for a client. Everything was just right and you were impressed with your brains and abilities. Just then, an angry co-worker comes into your office and hits the delete key. You hadn't saved your work because it's impossible and you were forced to start all over again. But you just couldn't do the same work twice--somehow that made you feel like nothing more than a eunuch. So you watched the food network instead." The husband totally got it. Thank you.

BYU Flashback

A few days ago Paul and I went on a date thanks to my blessed sister Patty who loves to babysit my kids. So we went to Thai Ruby (one of my favorite restaurants in this whole valley) and then to the BYU Museum of Art to see current exhibit on The Demise of Modernism. Well, apparently BYU doesn’t consider the MOA a great date destination because it was closed this particular Saturday night, and probably every other Saturday night I suppose. Rates!

So what do we do? Well, we haven’t seen the new addition to the Tanner Building, let’s go there! Obviously we were stalling and not wanting to go home until the kids were asleep. So we headed back to the building where Paul and I spent the greater part of our college years. Upon entering the building, I was flooded with memories and emotions of days gone by. Here are just a few.

• I remember giving a report in Information Systems about this crazy new computer in the library that could give you up to the minute information on stocks. Something called the internet.
• I remember not ever once raising my hand to answer a question in class—during all four years! Yea, yea, I’m a know it all, but about important stuff like mascara and the best way to cook asparagus, not business.
• I remember there was a student or two in each of my classes that had a laptop computer. I remember being jealous that he didn’t have to go wait in line at the computer lab to use Quattro Pro version dinosaur 1.
• I remember leaving my apartment early in the morning to make it to the computer lab before classes began to print out my homework. I also remember being so poor that I would agonize whether I should print out my homework on the free dot matrix printer or whether to splurge and use the 10 cents per page computer lab laser printer. Live large Cynthia, go for the laser.
• I remember failing Accounting 210 (Paul aced this of course, like everything) and having to retake it as a night class. Nothing ruins a good night’s rest more than ending the day at 9:20pm with debits and credits instead of Cheetos and chocolate milk.

But most of all I remember telling myself that life would begin when college ended. I was right about that one. See? I am a know it all.

Tip of the Day

Do not run over rakes in your garage with brand new tires that cost $110 each. Yes, you can still see some of the white stickers on the tire because I just bought the tires last week. Laugh for me, I'm not. I should blame little Ilene who was raking leaves on Saturday, but I won't unless she has $110 in her little wallet.

ApartmentTherapy.Com

A while back I was featured on ApartmentTherapy.Com for my pillows. They liked my designs as well as my low prices. I had never heard of this home decor website before but apparently they have 2 million hits a day. I didn't get two million orders, but I got enough in one weekend that I was waking up at 4 am to cut and sew like a sweat shopper. The hype over this pillow hasn't slowed down--I've sold it 35 times now. So thank you Lily at apartmenttherapy.com for the fab article. I check out your ultra chic and modern website almost daily now. Here's to good design. (*glasses clinking in the air for a toast*)