A few weeks ago I went out to lunch with my sisters. Both my sisters work full-time and they were discussing their company’s sick leave policy. One of them said her sick days accumulated year after year. One of them said, I think, that her sick days were a use-it-or-lose-it kind of thing. Not wanting to be left out of the conversation I quickly explained that I didn’t get any sick days ever. They both thought that was kind of funny, but I didn’t. Mom’s don’t get sick days and that is truly a crime. Because nobody needs sick days more than a mother.
In case you can’t tell by my congested tone of voice, I am sick. I have been sick for almost two weeks now. The house is disgusting, the kids are hooked on Nick Jr. TV, and we seem to eat a lot of pancakes and eggs for dinner lately. Why? Because I am just not getting better. I am what I like to call, functional sick. I am not feverish with delirium anymore but I simply feel like a big piece of garbage. I am functional, yet still sick. I feel like a walking zombie.
So today I am breaking down and going to see my doctor. I have no idea why. He’ll simply say something like: “Be patient. This is a terrible bug that’s going around.” In reality I’d like him to say this: “Here is a prescription for valium. Take it whenever your kids are going bon
kers. Oh, and I insist you take at least a week vacation in Mazatlan where you will do nothing but lie on the beach all day long and sip fruity drinks. I forbid you to change any diapers or do any laundry. That is the real reason you are still sick. You must be allergic to laundry.” I’ll explain to him that I don’t have any sick days saved up and he’ll say that it’s a shame. Mazatlan really would cure me. I’m sure of it.
7 comments:
Here, here! I'm all for Mazatlan! Can I go as your home health care nurse?
Maybe while you're on the valium, you can just IMAGINE you're in Mazatlan...warm sun...hot sand...the scent of fruit wafting in the air...no, wait, that isn't fruit...it's poo...a big piece of poo waiting in Hallie's diaper for you know who. Hooray for motherhood, Sistah!
Shouldn't our husbands be allowed to take one of THEIR sick days when we are sick--then they can stay home and pick up the slack while we nurse our weakened and struggling immune systems. Dream on...
Well Mom called the other day and Paul answered phone and explained he had stayed home because you were sick. I said WHAT? Because I remember at lunch that day you said it woud never happen. I did look out the window to see if pig were flying, I swear.
By the way, I must admit I chuckled heartily at your secret wish for the doctor's prescription. In the past few years, I have only gone to the doctor for my woman's "annual." For awhile there, she made my secret wish come true with Depoprovera (sp??) and Aunt Flo was adios for a few years. I comdemn the FDA for finding something wriong with that drug. So now I keep on hoping she will tell me that women in England don't have monthly courses so that I will seize upon the excuse I need to pack my bags and fly across the Pond to live happily ever after in my England.
Obviously I have been disparaged in conversations among the in-laws.
Whatever. I spent nearly two whole days at home last week trying to care for two sick daughters while letting the sick mother sleep.
I am not asking for a medal. BUT I do want to go on the record as announcing that I cleaned the kids' bathroom from top to bottom including the toilet. I washed and folded every stitch of clothing in the house. Kept the kitchen clean and even made several dinner meals.
I can do this stuff when called upon. It is just a lot nicer to have my wonderful wife take care of these things.
I love you Cyn and I want you back at 100 percent as much as you do.
Not in MY house, Paul! You rock!
Dear daughter, don't despair! We are having wonderful weather down hear in sunny California and you can come down here next week and warm your weary bones in our wonderful California winter sunshine.
Pops
Poor Paul, he feels he has been slandered. Yes, during the conversation with my sisters at lunch I did explain that Paul doesn't take time off to take care of his wife. Obviously he changed his tune only a few weeks later when he stayed home last week, like he said, to care for the invalids. That WAS the first time in 11 years of marriage that he cleaned a toilet. I was truly grateful. And yes he made dinner too--as I explained. Pancakes!
The doctor didn't say much today. He took blood to see if I'm anemic, or have mono, or epstein bar (sp?). Stand by.... I still contend I'm allergic to laundry.
Paul, if I had a man in my life other than my Daddy dearest, I would be talking and blogging about him to everyone, like Cyn. Never fear, count yourself among the loved and admired when it comes to THIS sister in law - wink!
Well said, Cynthia!!
Yup..we're there to take care of sick kids and husbands in spite of achy bodies, sleep deprivation and hand washing til we bleed, but when it rolls around to us, we have to just KEEP functioning! We can't miss a beat!!
Then, when we are still lagging 2 weeks later because we're not better, everyone wants to know what the deal is!!
LOL.
In my case, I am currently nursing a child who seems to get a different sickness each week.
I won't dare say that I'M not sick at this moment because I know I will become so before I finish commenting on this blog. Par for the course.
Hope you are feeling better soon! Enjoy that CA weather!
Love
Lori
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