Monday, September 19, 2005

Insomnia Really Bites

Hi, my name is Cynthia and I am an insomniac. Last night during my bout of insomnia I realized I am going to blog about this. I hate being awake in the middle of the night for no reason at all. It feels kind of like everyone gets to have dessert but you are the only one not privileged enough to partake of something yummy. I toss and turn and look over at my husband happily sleeping and I want to hit him. How can you sleep all peaceful-like while I am over here miserable! The house is silent—once in a while I hear my daughter Ilene (4 yrs. old) talk in her sleep—its usually pretty angry yelling—“No way!”, “I don’t want to!”, etc. Sometimes I hear Hallie (19 months) cry for no reason except that maybe she too is dreaming the same thing as Ilene but since she hardly talks she can’t scream out “No Way!”. Instead she belts out with her axe-murder scream for a few seconds then goes back to Sleepyville.

My insomnia usually hits around 3am and lasts until 6am or so. Sometimes I go back to sleep and sometimes I just get up and get my day going. I have tried to pass the time by watching TV or sewing but that just makes it worse sometimes. If I watch TV then I realize that only losers watch TV at such an hour because all that is on are infomercials with Mr. Popeil and his famous vegetable/fruit dehydrater or rotisserie oven. Or Oprah reruns. Did you know that the Oprah shows plays old reruns around 3am? It’s not pretty. Or worse—the ultimate in trash TV--Jerry Springer. Watching TV at this awful hour is not an option. I also don’t like watching TV in the middle of the night because it reminds me of the awful days of forced insomnia due to a newborn baby. Oh gosh, I don’t think any parent ever forgets just how sleep deprived they are when there’s a new baby in the house.

I used to get up and go to my sewing room and plow through projects lying around. I still do this once in a while, but I prefer not to. It makes me feel like a sweatshop seamstress working at such an ungodly hour. Not to mention—once again I feel like everyone gets to go to the Sleepyville ball and I am stuck being Cinderella and doing the chores.

So now I just lay in bed. All kinds of wonderful thoughts come to me. I become clairvoyant. Things occur to me at this hour of the night that never seem to enter my thought at any other time. Take last night for example. Here were some of my thoughts: Paul’s car registration expires at the end of the month—better get that emissioned and safety inspected too. Trust me, during the day I never think about that car. It must be divine. I also remembered that I needed to make dentist appointments for all of us. Blech. No wonder I forget about that during the day. I also get weirdly disciplined at these hours. Last night I decided I would make an exercise chart and hang it on my bathroom mirror so that I am forced to see it everyday. Surely this will force me to exercise more than my usual 2-3 times week. I also decided that canceling satellite TV may be a good idea and instead I’ll read more—good books, scriptures, etc. Will either of these things happen? Dunno. I’ll think about them more next time I have insomnia. Probably tonight.

I have tried taking Unisom at night. But that is truly the Devil’s drug. I took one and felt like I had been hit by a train. It lasted at least 10 hours. During the last couple of hours I swear I had the flu. That’s how awful I felt. So I started cutting the pills in half but never remember to take them. Even when I did remember I still felt gross the next morning. I’ve seen the commercials lately for some prescription sleep drug where there is a little glow in the dark butterfly zooming around the dark night while a woman quietly slumbers in her bed. That’s creepy. Not to mention I am too cheap to pay my $30 co-pay to see the doctor and then pay another $30-50 a month for the drug that has all kinds of horrible side effects like gangrene and kidney failure. What is funny about this commercial is it lists drowsiness as a side effect. Excuse me? I wouldn’t call that a side effect but rather the INTENDED effect. Do you think Oprah gets insomnia?

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