Thursday, May 10, 2007

Hallie the Trash Talker

I have decided that Hallie came to our family to try my very soul. By nature I am a very impatient person and Hallie was sent here to remedy that fault. If she isn’t hiding in a closet eating her brother’s candy in the dark then she’s taking the scissors to a client’s 70-dollar-a-yard fabric. I have cried, I have prayed, and still she seems to get the better of me nearly every day. I have even resorted to buying a parenting book—How to Talk So Your Kids will Listen. I have always said, if you need a book to parent, you are in real trouble. Well, we are in trouble.

As of late, Hallie has become a trash talker. She could go on Jerry Springer. She spits at us, whips us with her beloved blanky, and kicks innocent children until they fall down. When she is mad at me, which is several times a day, she screams at me, “You’re not my mama anymore!” I have been ignoring this heckling because frankly, I don’t care. The words don’t hurt, but the yelling is what I simply can’t stand. So today I pulled the plug on Hallie. I said to her, “Fine, I am not your Mama anymore just like you want. Cool! I don’t have to make your lunch now.” (As I am saying this I am making Ilene’s lunch.) She started sobbing, “Please make me lunch. You are my mama!” I held out.
A while later, she fell and hurt herself and wanted some consolation and a kiss. “Go find your Mama Hallie, she’ll kiss it and make it better. After all, you told me I am not your Mama.” Then the real wailing and gnashing of teeth began. “I don’t want a new mama! I don’t want her kisses! Please be my mama. I won’t ever say those mean words ever again! Please!” Do I believe the promise? No. But she did need to eat, so I had a talk with her, kissed her boo-boo, and made her lunch. As she is inhaling her peanut butter and honey sandwich (after all, lunch was delayed at least 20 minutes) she continues to reassure me, "I'll never say that again." Let’s see how long that trash talk subsides because that stupid parenting book hasn’t arrived yet from and I am out of ideas. Legal ones, anyway.


paulw_cpa said...

The biggest mistake you made on this blog is to include a picture of Hallie that makes her look angelic!

While she can be in rare moments, what you needed to do was include a picture of her in her raging glory to substantiate your claims of her being a mean girl.

Thanks for taking care of the little monster.

Ilene said...

Oh my goodness! Good thing Hallie came last of the three kiddos, otherwise you may not have had any others!

I figure kids are there to make us humble.

Hey, I have bought "Baby Wise" and "How to Potty Train Your Kid in Less than a Day." I need help too. Let me know how your book goes and any useful tips.

Well, at least Hallie is really cute!

Lori Lashley said...

Hey Cynthia!

You're such a great mom!

I SOOO understand your frustration! My 5 year old is rather "intense" and I'm dealing with struggles of my own!

It doesn't help that I work now and his other main caregivers (dad & grandma) don't discipline AT ALL!

That means, if I want it to happen, and be sure he knows what's okay and what's not, I have to spend the little time I DO have with him, punsishing and/or
reiterating rules.

Needless to say, every remaining second with him is devoted to trying to incorporate love, hugs & positive mommy and me time into and/or around that! It sucks!!!!

On the other hand, I strongly believe in structure and clear cut expectations--both our expectations of our children AND their expectations of what consequences occur as a result of misbehaving.

I am proud of you for standing your ground with Hallie! I believe kids really do WANT boundaries and you are showing that you intend to stick to them. It's getting her attention.

My bet is that she might not completely right her wrong(s) immediately, but that it DID open her eyes, and the more you continue to hold the line, the more she wil rise to your expectations.

Keep me posted!


P.S. I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about--I'm just a mom of two who will eternally be a college senior. But, I'm also a loud mouth who shares my opinion anyway! LOL

cyn the win said...

I like opinionated people Lori!

mom2qtboys said...

Oh you are such a better person than me- William went through a phase of telling me he wanted a new mom so one day I told him "okay I can arrange that-you will have to live in a different house too though"(I was just going to take him to a member of the ward that he didn't really know for a couple hours)I think I actually had him believing me becasue he started telling me he loved me and wanted me to be his mom. Michael started freaking out anyway saying "Mom you can't do that our family has to be together forever. I'm going to keep our family together"-strange coming from someone who had also claimed days before that William wasn't his brother anymore.


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