Dammit Doll

I like to download free sewing patterns on the internet because I am a cheapskate. I definitely shy away from the more crafty projects (lavender eye masks and kitty tunnels) and focus in on useful sewing projects (headbands and aprons.) But tonight I ran across a crafty sewing pattern that I just had to share with you all. Get ready to wipe away tears of laughter. (I swear I am making one for my sister Carolyn--the road rage doll, different poem than below. Umm-humm. )

When you want to kick the desk

or throw the phone and shout.

Here's a little dammit doll you cannot do without.

Just grasp it firmly by the legs,

and find a place to slam it.

And as you whack it's stuffing out, yell,

"dammit, dammit, dammit!"

It's worth a try! They have all kinds of poems on the website.

Farewell to Nemo

Nathan’s beta fish Nemo went to the giant fishbowl in the sky this week. He was a good Beta fish. He never made noise and never looked angry—always a happy fish. He lived a long life—3 years. It seems just like yesterday my sister Patricia took Nathan to Wal-Mart and let him buy a pet fish. (Was my permission even asked about this leap into pethood? Nope. Shame on Patricia!) Nonetheless, I let Nathan keep Nemo thinking he’d be dead in a month. On the contrary, Nemo proved to be near immortal. He once survived a trip down the garbage disposal. Were it not for the quick thinking and agile hands of Paul who quickly unscrewed the garbage disposal from underneath, ripping it off practically, and dumping Nemo safely into a cup of water, the fish would’ve suffered an ignominious death. He had a lot to brag about after that experience (Nemo that is.) After all, how many fish go down pipes and live? Nemo also survived out of water for a length of time, how long we’ll never know. His tank was being cleaned so he safely, we thought, rested in a cup of water on the sink. We had to run an errand and when we came back we noticed Nemo was no longer in the cup. He had flopped out onto the counter. We quickly put him back into a deeper cup of water, although it was now obvious he didn’t need water to survive. Nemo was definitely no ordinary beta fish. God bless him.